The other night, babysitting for two wonderful kids, I slammed my finger in the door, and my first thought was, "There goes my hand modeling career!" (So you're not on pins and needles for this whole post, I'll tell you right now: my hands are fine. Phew.)
Scares like these really make one stop and take stock. I have a gift, and I'm being so careless. Not everyone has such long fingers (not everyone even has fingers!), or the grace with which they handle products. So few people can understand the career I have, because such gifts are too rare to even fathom. But you're lucky if you're reading this, because I'm feeling very generous. Today, I will give you an inside look at being a New York City Hand Model.
The days are very long. Starting the night before, one must apply an excessive amount of lotion or vaseline on the hands, and then place the hands in special gloves. (Sometimes we use socks instead of gloves)
In the morning, one must remove the socks and apply more lotion.
The day contains many practice sessions. When brushing one's teeth, one must act as if she is presenting the toothbrush in an Oral B commercial. When using one's iPhone, one must tap the screen with the grace of an Apple hand model. To get the part, one must be the part. When Apple calls, I will be ready.
One must stay on top of hand related news items, and research products, such as the hyperbolic hand chambers so beautifully advertised in the film Zoolander.
Finally, one must reflect on one's already prolific career. To watch one's only commercial on repeat, and know that perfection has been reached.
Then one starts over, with the nightly regimen, exhausted from such a busy day.
And there you have it. If you have more questions, perhaps this video will provide answers. It is a first hand account (no pun intended) of the stresses that come hand in hand (literally) with this career.